Q: I have a friend who says she thinks her boyfriend RAPED her. Can this be true?
A: Yes. Over two thirds of all rapes (sexual assaults) are committed by someone with whom the survivor is acquainted. Teens and young adults are at the highest risk for this type of sexual assault. Acquaintance rape/sexual assault is the least often reported form of sexual assault. Estimates on reporting range from one in a hundred to one in twelve.

Q: I have a friend who says she thinks her boyfriend RAPED her. Can this be true?
A: Yes. Over two thirds of all rapes (sexual assaults) are committed by someone with whom the survivor is acquainted. Teens and young adults are at the highest risk for this type of sexual assault. Acquaintance rape/sexual assault is the least often reported form of sexual assault. Estimates on reporting range from one in a hundred to one in twelve.

Q: What is ACQUAINTANCE/DATE RAPE?
A: Rape is commonly defined as involving any contact between the sex organs of one person and the sex organs, mouth or anus of another person, committed through force or the threat of force. Acquaintance rape occurs when the offender is someone the victim knows.

The motivation for any sexual assault/rape is the need for power and control over someone else. While the attack is in the form of a sexual violation, sexual satisfaction is not the primary motivation. Sexual violation is used as the "weapon" to hurt the other person and as the "tool" to get the need for power and control met. Sexual assault, like any assault, is violent. Usually the level of violence is so high that the victim/survivor feels as if she/he will be killed during the assault.

Q: Why does ACQUAINTANCE/DATE RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT happen?
A: There are many factors associated with acquaintance rape. The following are just a few.

Anger: People who are angry may take out their frustrations on someone else. Too often, this will be a vulnerable woman or child.
Power: Insecurity or feelings of inadequacy may cause an emotionally immature person to attack a less powerful person in an effort to feel in control.
Lack of Communication: The failure of women and men to adequately communicate their needs and expectations can lead to acquaintance rape. Assertiveness, and the ability to communicate effectively, can be rape prevention tools. Remember, once the victim says "NO" and the offender continues with his/her behavior, it is rape.

Q: Can a male be sexually assaulted?
A: Yes. We usually don't think about there being male victims, but men are sexually assaulted/raped too. Usually a man is sexually assaulted by another male, however, a male can be assaulted by a female too. Men are less likely to report the assault than are women, probably due to the shame factor of allowing someone to have power and control over them.

Male victims have similar reactions and symptoms after the assault as female victims. In addition, however, male victims often will question their sexual orientation after a sexual assault.

Q: How is ACQUAINTANCE RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT different from "stranger rape"?
A: The act itself and the motivation of the perpetrator are the same. But there are some differences which are listed below.

It is easier to be on one's guard against a stranger, but it is more difficult to suspects one's friends, boy/girlfriends or acquaintances of being capable of committing a rape. Society teaches that people whom one knows can be trusted. Society also teaches one to be "nice" or to not make a "scene" and to not hurt another's feelings. As a result, warnings of danger in this situation may be ignored or explained away. Society also teaches that if a person is raped, she/he asked for it.

Because of societal teaching, acquaintance/date rape can happen without the victim truly being aware that she/he was raped. When victims are interviewed, often they deny being "raped", but they do admit to being forced to having sex. Often, acquaintance/date rape is mislabeled as a "misunderstanding" or "rough sex".

Verbal pressure is often used instead of physical force. "Lines" which might be used to force a woman or man to submit might include the following: "You're not the only girl/guy I could date." "What do you mean saying 'No' after all of the money I've spent on you?" "We've had sex before. You can't refuse now." or "You really want it, you're just playing hard to get."

There is usually a "grooming" process involved. The offender "desensitizes" the victim or gets the victim used to being treated in a certain way. The offender may violate the victim's space, interrupt the victim when she/he is speaking, offer unwanted touches, use certain kind of looks, or may "accidently" shove, hit or push the victim. These things cause the victim to question the offender's motive as well as her/his own judgement. Often the victim will say "Oh, he/she didn't mean that - that's just how he/she is." As time goes on, the victim becomes less and less sure of the perpetrator's motives and of her/his own judgement. When the sexual assault actually occurs, the survivor even questions if she/he actually was assaulted or if this was just another misunderstanding or mis-interpretation.

Q: What are the effects of ACQUAINTANCE RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT?
A: The effects are the same as those of being raped by a stranger, but some of the effects are often intensified. When someone is raped by someone they know and trust, they may lose confidence in her/his own judgement. The victim frequently feels partly responsible for the rape. Often, she/he will say "I should have known". Also, it is society's attitude that people who get raped "ask for it". Sometimes, there are social repercussions for the victim. Friends of the rapist will blame the victim and treat her/him badly for saying such "an awful thing" about their friend. So, just when the victim needs the support and comfort of her/his friends, the friends may have turned away.

Since sexual assault is a crime of violence, usually the victim/survivor, at some point during the assault feels as if she/he will be killed. This feeling causes a series of reactions or symptoms known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The following are some "typical" or common reactions or symptoms exhibited after a sexual assault has occurred.

Psychological, physiological and somatic reactions to PTSD
1. Exaggerated mood swings for quiet calm to hysteria
2, Fear
3. anxiety
4. irritability
5. a sense of powerlessness and helplessness
6. confusion
7. diminished ability to concentrate
8. guilt, self-blame
9. anger
10. desire for revenge
11. vulnerability
12. shame or embarrassment
13. denial of assault/blocking own reactions
14. obsession with details of the assault
15. nightmares or night terrors
16. distrust of others, particularly those resembling the attacker
17. flashbacks, (re-experiencing the attack as if it was currently occurring.
18. concern about pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease.
19. concerns about who to tell about the incident and concerns about the responses of friends, family and officials.
The following physical problems may also occur
1. nausea
2. soreness, wounds and bruising from the attack
3. infections
4. stomach upsets
5. tension headaches
6. fatigue
7. sleep disturbances
8. eating disturbances
9. startle response (easily startled, jumpy)
10. persistent discomfort at the site of the attack (sore throat)
11. pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.
12. menstrual cycle disruption

The trauma is fundamentally disruptive and there are a wide range of normal responses to this crisis. Unfortunately, it is during this state of disorientation that many decisions must be made as to medical examinations, police reports etc.

The fact remains, no one asks to be raped. Rape is a crime. The rapist is the criminal, not the victim.

Q. Just how common is ACQUAINTANCE SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE ?
A: Following are some statistics on Date/Aquaintance Rape/Sexual Assault

* 61% of all assaults occur when a victim is between 11 and 29 years old. (This excludes victims of childhood sexual abuse).

* Women aged 16-24 are three times more likely to be raped than other women. This is due in part to being an active time of life when dating is most prevalent (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1991)

* According to a study conducted by the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, 43% of acquaintance rapes are committed by boyfriends.

* 15% of all college students reported at least one incident of rape during a one year period and 12% reported attempted rape.

* 57% of all rapes involving college students occurred while on a date.

* 86% of all rapes occurred off campus

* Fewer than 5% of college students who were raped reported to police. 42% told no one.

* In 55% of acquaintance rape cases, the offender and/or the victim were drinking or using drugs.

* 39% of rapists are husbands, partners, or relatives of the victim.

Q: Is there help available on campus at Greenville College for a survivor of sexual assault?
A: Yes. There are three counselors available on campus to assist you with any need you have. Services are always confidentail and free of charge to students. Please call 6810 to schedule an appointment.