Dark Night of the Soul

George Smith

Despair, loss of hope, fear, an expectation that things will not work out … When we face each day through the lens of these thoughts and feelings, making decisions or fulfilling responsibilities can seem overwhelming.

Dreading getting up in the morning,
Going to work or class,
Pretending to be in a good mood,
Forcing down a persistent irritation with everyone and everything,
Choking down an impulse to break into tears,
Avoiding the awareness that nothing interests me anymore,
Desiring to stay in bed,
Balling up in my cave somewhere …

When each day seems meaningless and gray …

When the thought of ending it all doesn’t seem all that unreasonable, and in fact, I have even fantasized about ways to bring about “the end.” I have not only fantasized about ways to end it all, but I harbor that fantasy as “my way out” if things finally get too overwhelming.

These thoughts and feelings become emotionally and physically exhausting. I become less able to tolerate stress. My thinking has become restricted and more concrete. I just want to get things over with so I can get away. My energy level is always half-full, so that even the smallest tasks seem like a chore.

When this condition continues for months at a time, our body begins to adjust biochemically and we lose the ability to “come out of it.”

Other kinds of depression are a result of “indogenous” depression, which is a chemical imbalance unrelated to external events. We are then faced with the need to do the things that will impact us biochemically. We can’t just feel better by “thinking better thoughts.” I may need to improve my diet, increase exercise and physical activities, or change my routine to force new ways of looking at things. I may also need to explore ways to grow spiritually, and commit to personal changes.

And finally, if things just seem too overwhelming to even begin, I may need to see a counselor and/or psychiatrist for an evaluation to see if anti-depressant medication might be of benefit to help get me out of the biochemical “rut” I am in. For many persons, taking an anti-depressant is a temporary solution designed to get their body’s biochemistry back on-line to where they feel their old self again.

Talking to a counselor can help me explore past and present thoughts and feelings that may have fueled my depression. Symptoms of Depression

1. Loss of sleep or sleeping too much.
2. Decrease in energy.
3. Loss of appetite or eating more than is typical for me.
4. Loss of interest in things I am normally interested in.
5. Chronic low mood.
6. Periodic or persistent thoughts of suicide.
7. Anger that feels out of control.
8. “Flat feelings” or just feel numb.

If you have several of these symptoms, you may want to talk with a counselor or psychiatrist to assess for the presence of a clinical depression.

The good news is that depression is very treatable. You do not have to feel this way for the rest of your life! YOU CAN DO SOMETHING … And you are not alone. Statistics show that most people will experience a clinical depression at least once in their life that will require professional help.

If your symptoms are interfering with school or work performance, talk with someone right away. You are worth it!