Spiritual formation requires development of good judgment, and that training is a big part of our mission at Greenville College . A piece of that process that sometimes goes unnoticed is teaching the ability to distinguish between issues that have to do with morality and those that are really just about manners.

I say “just manners” advisedly. While manners are primarily about what is considered socially acceptable, and not necessarily what is morally right or wrong, it's not that simple. There is a connection. Standing too close in public, raising our voice in the movies, flossing at the table, wearing hats in church, even failing to stop at stop signs have moral dimensions. First, because manners usually do reflect a group's deeper moral commitments; for example, to justice and respect. Second, because our non-compliance with them also reflects our unwillingness to submit our own personal freedom to the good of the community.

But still, it is easy to confuse or even equate manners with morality. What makes impoliteness “wrong” is often nothing more than that it surprises other people because it is not what they expect. As our experience with other cultures shows, it may be impolite, but not a sin, to stand closer to someone in line than we are accustomed to doing in the U.S. And generations differ too! What is appropriate (mannerly) for public display or public conversation is probably quite different for someone raised in the 1950s than for someone raised in the 1990s. It is tempting to suppose that lack of manners is lack of morals.

We can also make the opposite mistake. When someone raised with the manners of our current age considers whether and how they should enter the “public square” with art, or discussion, or music, it is tempting for them also to confuse manners and morality. They may assume that because something is socially acceptable—for example, open discussion of sexuality or liberal exposure of skin in dress—it is therefore morally right. This however, runs the risk first of offending others, by itself a real moral question. It also runs the risk of overlooking the moral worth of modesty, a virtue that protects our own spirit. Perhaps most importantly, it risks falling into the thinking that current manners determine what is eternally right and wrong. Just as one set of manners should not be used uncritically to define "wrongness,” contemporary manners should not be raised to the level of moral “rightness.”

Spiritually mature Christians understand that right and wrong (morality) is determined by God, not by what our culture or our generation judges to be socially acceptable. Our manners, like our theology, are only imperfect human attempts to put that in words.

In a Christian liberal arts community, we are devoted to helping young people mature spiritually. Discerning where manners and morality intersect, and where they part company is a subtle but crucial part of this work. At Greenville we address this not only in the classroom, but perhaps even more significantly by the discussions in which we engage publicly, the activities and events we sponsor, the posters and art we permit, as well as the rules we impose and enforce. It is facilitated by the presence of diverse cultures and generations who talk to each other with the shared purpose of spiritual growth. As with all learning environments, it is a laboratory in which mistakes are made, but one in which we undertake experiments in a controlled environment. We pray God will give us wisdom to do this carefully and Christianly.