How to exclude FOMO out of your life
Published: October 13, 2022
Author: Minh Do
Hi guys,
I guess the title has grabbed a small portion of your attention. This is a story of me, a 16-year-old girl taking the 3+3 engineering program at a place which is half the globe away from her home.
Let’s jump into a short introduction. My name is Minh. I come from the capital city of Vietnam - Hanoi. There are two modes that I see in this stunning city: a bustling, chaotic place and an aesthetic, dreamy land with its long-lived history. I love hanging out, having good talks and good food with other people so let’s go and grab coffee together!
Being apart from my family, the influence from my peers is emphasized as they are the people that I am around the most. What they are doing will very likely become what I am doing in the near future as I don’t want to miss out on anything. And I guess you know what has happened next! I constantly experience FOMO, in such a way that I can barely control my mood of the day.
What is FOMO?
So, let’s say something about this kind of overwhelming, uncomfortable emotion that I bet most people feel right now. FOMO - Fear of Missing Out - occurs when you are scared of failing to include something into your life. You are afraid to miss the opportunity, the experience, the people, etc. if you are not involved. This is a deep feeling of envy toward the better possessions and activities that other people have while you do not.
The reason behind my FOMO
Peer pressure
My close friends here at Greenville University gain a 4.0 GPA for every semester, participate in summer research, and actively participate in jobs and events around campus. They are the solid reason why I’m taking up to 18 credits each semester, working two jobs on campus, and attending whatever is happening around me.
This summer marked my very first mental breakdown since January when I left my country to study abroad. Everyone seems to get on the right track except for me, when I was staying inside the dorm and just waiting to cook with them at the end of the day. I felt left out when I was not doing any summer research, when I did not have jobs on campus, and when I was not seeking for more information related to my career. I got this deep feeling of envy till the point that I hated myself for being such a greedy person.
I always have an urge to do something, to be extremely involved in every activity without realizing that I am exhausted. Even though I do not necessarily have to do the same thing, I still try to squeeze something into my schedule so that I am not missing out on anything.
Social media
Social media platforms only reveal the best thing that is happening in people’s life, making me feel like I am living the worst version compared to those selected fun times and achievements. Isn’t it appealing to check up on what your peers are doing at the moment through just a few highlighted pictures with a caption? The bad thing is: I constantly compare my daily life with the highlights of my peers’ lives, comparing my day loaded with deadlines and stress with their on-vacation day. I should have been happy about how far I have gone, but looking at those finely captured moments on social media, I feel like they are much happier than I am.
Luckily, we can solve this together….in some ways
I’m still working on it, but through the last nine months studying abroad, I did acquire some tips for you to prevent the influences of FOMO toward your decision.
- Feel like you’re ENOUGH
I have capitalized this because the word ‘enough’ is extremely instrumental to solve this problem. When you look back at what you have already had, you will realize you have gone so much further from your initial starting point. You might think that after you accomplish the same thing as another does you will be happier than ever? No, it is not how your heart will work. You divert your attention into something that you are not truly passionate about, and that act can drain your energy out. But feeling enough and acknowledging what you have possessed in your life hits different therefore please practice writing at least three things that you are grateful for every day.
- Everyone has their own timeline, so do you.
It does not matter if you do not take summer research or an internship like other students at the moment. It is indeed a crucial experience which is highly recommended, but you should have acquired enough knowledge about your future career before applying for anything similar. This also applies to social media. When you see your friends seem to live their life the most out of it, please remember that there are also instances when they sink in the middle of deadlines or when they did not get out of bed at all for the whole day. Life is the symphony of ups and downs, therefore never compare your regular day with their intentionally captured moments for posting.
- Something that works out for one person does not mean it will also work for you
There is no guarantee that if you get to have the thing that you are currently missing out on, you will feel better. It is amazing if you open yourself up to new experiences, but grabbing something just because you feel like everyone is doing so is never a good motivation. Very soon afterward, you will feel the emptiness and lack of interest as you have diverted your energy into the wrong things. Please understand your strengths and weaknesses before you try to be involved, and I promise you will thank me later if you do so!
So….
Overcoming FOMO is definitely a long journey. I am working on it really hard for the betterment of myself, so that I am not distracted by surrounding people. You are not lonely, and I hope my tips can partially resolve some of your problems. Life is packed with chaos and uncertainty, so please don’t stress you out and just gradually take steps forward.
